Is there a persistent whiner on your team? The majority of us have dealt with someone who always finds the worst in things and is always looking for people to feel sorry for them. (As they say, misery is best shared with friends.) You may be wondering how to respond to persistent complaints at work if you’re the recipient of them. Do you disregard them? Offer your condolences? Should you tell them to “toughen up”?

The act of airing grievances or expressing unhappiness, or complaining, is a necessary and frequently inevitable component of organizational communication. When a complainant doesn’t provide a clear remedy, their complaints are frequently seen unfavorably and may even be interpreted as whining.

In fact, complaining can be detrimental to the culture of the business, interpersonal relationships, and the general mood of the group when done ineffectively. However, when done successfully, complaining can even strengthen bonds and general well-being while managing risks, identifying potential problems early on, and revealing chances for improvement. Here, we’ll look at the reasons behind employee complaints, as well as the situations in which they might be constructive or harmful. We’ll also provide some helpful advice on how to handle destructive complaints and maximize constructive ones.

The Forms and Functions of Complaining

The underlying intentions and consequences of various complaint kinds vary, both consciously and unconsciously. When dealing with employee complaints, begin by determining the nature of the issue and its origins:

Productive complaining

The goal of productive complaining is to highlight and make improvements to an unfavorable circumstance. Effective grievances, commonly called “voice,” can yield important input that is required to modify actions or customs that are detrimental to the company and to enhance procedures, goods, and services.

Employee complaints regarding, for instance, inadequate natural light in the workplace, an excessive workload, the functionality of a new product, or an improper behavior by a team member can draw attention to possible issues and inspire constructive change. Productive complaints, when directed toward a management who is open to hearing them out, can provide insightful information and draw attention to issues that should be resolved quickly to prevent them from getting worse inside the company.

Venting

 Venting is an emotive type of complaining in which the person tells others how unhappy they are with someone or something, frequently in a forceful manner. It is usually done to let go of pent-up stress or irritation or to find allies (such the need to just be understood and heard, or to get support and buy-in for a specific cause).

Positively, emotional venting might offer momentary solace from discomfort. Negative physiological activity is maintained when negative emotions are suppressed, and this can have detrimental impacts on cognition and health, including an increased risk of cardiovascular disease. Venting to a dependable coach or coworker can reduce feelings of isolation, increase emotions of social support, and provide us with a safe place to get perspective on a situation before it gets out of control.

Nevertheless, when someone vents, the listener is faced with two challenges: first, they must accept and manage the complainant’s bad feelings (by helping them resolve or cope with their problem), and second, they must address their own feelings or collective discontentment with the situation. If this keeps happening, the listener may become weary and experience empathy or compassion fatigue. Furthermore, venting can cause chronic stress and contribute to a bad emotional culture if it becomes a common and habitual strategy to deal with unpleasant feelings rather than focused, useful complaining.

Chronic complaining

Someone appears to have complaints about everything, including the artwork in the lunch café, their manager, the temperature in their room, and so on. Persistent complainers frequently have a more negative or critical perspective on their position, their work, and the outside world.
In this instance, whining doesn’t always indicate an actual issue; rather, it shows a mindset and attitude. The social costs of this conduct are considerable since it drains energy to listen to someone who is always complaining, and those who are close to them frequently quickly give up trying to help because it never seems to work and just creates new complaints to replace the old ones.

One advantage of chronic complainers is that they can assist identify possible red flags before they spread. For example, when implementing a new work-from-home policy, chronic complainers may provide early insight into potential policy flaws. Thus, chronic complainers should not be completely ignored: they will either bring up difficulties or eventually exhaust people with whom they work. Importantly, if you notice a specific employee becoming increasingly cynical about everything linked to work, this could be a warning indication of oncoming burnout.

Malicious complaining

Malicious complaining is a harmful type of complaint that is designed to discredit colleagues or obtain an unfair advantage. This behavior is motivated by a desire for personal (or group) gain rather than discontent with an organizational issue.

Malicious complaints, unlike chronic complaints, benefit the individual at the expense of others. This kind of complaining is frequently coupled with gossip and backstabbing. Leaders must act promptly if someone raises baseless or exaggerated complaints or speaks negatively about others with the (often unconscious) purpose of harming their reputation or career, or to elevate their own position through downward social comparison. This type of whining rarely has a positive, and if it becomes prevalent, it can create a toxic and psychologically hazardous work atmosphere, weaken team morale, and have a negative influence on productivity.

How to Handle Complaints at Work

It is critical to devise a plan for listening to and acting on complaints, maximizing their advantages and mitigating their damaging potential. When employees perceive their manager does not care about, diminishes, or ignores legitimate issues, it can lead to increased stress, lower engagement, and more attrition.

Being dismissive of complaints can also harm the manager’s — or the entire organization’s — reputation, as evidenced by one CEO’s now-viral town hall in which she encourages staff to “leave pity city” over their concerns about salary. According to Sigal Barsade and Olivia A. O’Neill, “telling employees to ‘put a lid’ on [their] feelings is both ineffective and destructive; the emotions will just come out later in counterproductive ways.”

Managers who listen to employee grievances build trust and psychological safety in their teams, which can improve organizational learning and performance. Furthermore, individuals who believe they have been heard can become more engaged in their work and drive constructive workplace change. Allowing for productive, solution-oriented criticisms encourages innovative issue resolution.

However, unchecked workplace complaining can have negative implications, such as “complaint contagion,” in which the negative mindset and emotions associated with specific types of complaints spread to others and influence team and organizational culture. Ongoing complaints that do not provide solutions (or have no remedies at all) can lead to learned helplessness and decreased productivity.
As a manager, you must treat your team members’ grievances with care. Here’s how.

Start with interest and curiosity.

Reward the messenger for putting their faith in you to address the matter when you first learn about it. Employees who speak with their manager directly about their dissatisfaction are likely to be more committed than those who will vent to their peers or friends (using malicious complaining, for example), even though the message may be tinged with negative emotions like frustration, disappointment, or even anger. You have the opportunity to determine what the initial issue was because they are coming to you.

Maintain a curious mindset during the conversation. Beware of the false consensus bias, which can lead to attitudes such as “If I don’t personally experience it, it must not be true” or “If it’s not a big deal to me, it shouldn’t be to them either.” Consider the intention behind an employee’s complaint regarding a certain topic. Is the complaint designed to cause harm or to resolve a problem? Is it providing an opportunity or sparking an idea for constructive change? Is this a red flag for a potential problem? Is this something that multiple staff have mentioned? Is the person simply venting over an issue that isn’t easily resolved?

If you can’t figure out what the complaint is about, you could ask the person directly, “What do you want to achieve with your feedback, and how can I help you?” This can help employees understand why they’re complaining and provide recommendations for how you can help them.

Encourage and facilitate constructive complaints.

Next, promote perspective-taking and solution-oriented, constructive complaining. For example, you could schedule frequent meetings for staff to share constructive comments and ideas for growth. Regular performance reviews also give a framework for critical input from both parties and an opportunity to foster psychological safety. Employees who know they have a clear opportunity to express their concerns about anything they’re displeased with may just wait for the appropriate time and place rather than seeking out others behind closed doors, which can lead to complaint contagion and malicious complaints.

Installing a time buffer — a brief pause to consider the grievance, its impact, and potential remedies before engaging in a conversation about it — can help the complainant express issues with less negative emotion and therefore more successfully. It can also help the receiver prepare resources and ideas for responding. explore having employees share common problems or complex issues in a trusted group setting, allowing everyone to speak and explore alternate viewpoints. Recognize “helpful” complaints that provide channels and chances for improvement to help employees adopt more active, problem-solving mindsets.

Tackle destructive complaints.

It is vital to handle the negative types of complaints, which can swiftly destroy culture and collaboration. A team member who is “known” for malicious or continuing chronic whining may discover that others weary of listening to them, and potentially valid complaints are lost.

If you see that an employee frequently complains about someone without any intention or desire to resolve the issue, address the relationship, either through mediation or a productive conversation. Employees aren’t always aware of how their tone or negative outlook affects others and culture, so just addressing the behavior can be really beneficial in some situations. If chronic complaining about a specific issue occurs, especially if the situation is unsolvable, the complainant may want assistance in changing their mentality and behavior in order to accept and manage with the circumstances. If it isn’t possible, they may need to decide to leave the environment (or be asked to leave by the management) in order to avoid infecting the team culture.

There are advantages and disadvantages to complaining in terms of organizational communication. It is best to promote constructive complaints, which are organized forums for staff members to air grievances since they provide insightful input on how to enhance operations, deliverables, and customer support.

Venting and constant whining have benefits and drawbacks for the person and the group, therefore it’s best to allow them the proper time and space rather than suppressing them. Malicious whining simply serves to further one’s own interests at the expense of others and the group, lowers output, and fosters a poisonous work atmosphere. Managers can monitor and control the risks and expenses associated with complaining for both themselves and their teams, as well as foster a good, high-performing work environment, by responding appropriately to the various sorts of complaints.